Written by: Oluwabiyi Esther Ayomide
Girl’s Stuff at Villpress is a weekly series where we talk about real-life issues girls face, from relationships to self-esteem and everything in between.
INTERVIEW WITH Zainab
I’ve known Zainab for a few years now, and I’ve watched her grow from a young girl battling insecurities to a confident woman who now radiates strength, grace, and love. At 27, Zainab is happily married, and I can’t help but admire how beautifully her life has unfolded. But before she found the love and peace she has today, her journey was far from simple.
I caught up with her last week for a chat, and her story was one I knew had to be shared with the world. It’s one of heartbreak, self discovery, healing, and ultimately, the joy of knowing that love will find you when you stop seeking validation from anyone else.
QUE: Zainab , thank you for sitting down with me today. I know so many girls will find your journey inspiring. Let’s start with you telling us a little about yourself who you are now and what you do.
Zainab : Thank you for having me. I’m Zainab , a 27 year old wife, daughter, and creative. I’m married to the love of my life, and I work as a content creator and photographer. I’m passionate about telling stories through pictures and words, and I also run a small blog where I talk about my experiences, faith, and personal growth. My family means the world to me, my parents, my siblings, and of course, my husband, who is my biggest support. We’re building a life together that is peaceful, purposeful, and full of love. But looking back, I never imagined I’d be here.
QUE: That’s amazing, Zainab . But we both know that this peaceful and purposeful life wasn’t always your story. Can you take us back to your younger years? What was life like for you before you found the strength you have now?
Zainab : Oh, wow. It feels like it was a lifetime ago, but I can still remember the sting so clearly. I was always the quiet one in school, more focused on my books and finding my place in the world than on the boys around me. When I was in secondary school, I had a boyfriend, someone I thought would be my forever. But he was anything but kind. He’d call me ugly, tell me no other guy would ever love me the way he did, and constantly put me down. There were days he’d even mock my appearance, saying I was too plain to ever matter to anyone. And because I was so desperate for love, I believed him.
QUE: That sounds so painful. How did it affect you?
Zainab : It lt tore me apart, to be honest. I wanted to believe I was worthy of love, but his words made me doubt everything about myself. I’d look in the mirror and see his words etched on my face. My confidence was shattered. I stayed in that toxic relationship for way too long, thinking I couldn’t do any better, that maybe this was all I deserved. Then, one day, he just… left. No warning, no explanation. He broke up with me and immediately started dating someone else from our class. I remember watching them together, and it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.
QUE: That must have been devastating. What went through your mind at that moment?
Zainab : It was a mixture of heartbreak and shame. I felt like I wasn’t enough. Like I had poured my heart into someone who didn’t care about me at all. And when I saw him move so quickly, I felt even worse about myself. The words he’d spoken, the way he’d made me feel like I was worthless… it all came flooding back. I didn’t know how to pick up the pieces of my heart, and for a long time, I couldn’t see the value in myself.
QUE: How did you cope with all of that?
Zainab : Honestly, I didn’t really cope well at first. I spent a lot of time in my room, crying and wondering why I wasn’t good enough. But somewhere deep inside, I knew that I couldn’t keep living like this. So, I decided to take a break from relationships. I needed to rediscover who I was outside of someone else’s words or expectations. I focused on my studies and my personal growth. When I got into university, I started to meet people who encouraged me to look at myself differently not through the lens of someone else’s hurtful words, but through my own eyes.
QUE: That sounds like a huge turning point. How did you start to rediscover yourself?
Zainab : It wasn’t easy, but I slowly started to heal. I threw myself into my passions: photography, writing, and discovering more about God. I realized that I didn’t need anyone’s approval to feel worthy. I was learning to appreciate myself for who I was, and I began to see beauty in my uniqueness. I surrounded myself with people who loved and supported me, and gradually, I rebuilt my confidence.
But there were still moments when I’d see my friends getting into relationships, or I’d hear about a classmate getting married, and I’d feel that old ache in my chest. The doubts would resurface: Is there something wrong with me? Why am I still single? I even remembered the harsh things that my ex boyfriend had said. I
wasn’t healed completely, but I kept pressing forward. I learned to focus on what was an important relationship with God, my personal growth, and becoming the best version of myself.
QUE: That’s so inspiring, Zainab . So, when did you finally meet the man you would marry? Was there a moment that made you realize he was the one?
Zainab : Yes, absolutely. It wasn’t love at first sight, but when I met my husband, there was an instant connection. He was different from anyone I’d ever known. He wasn’t trying to impress me or win my affection; he just genuinely liked me for who I was. He encouraged my dreams, respected my independence, and never made me feel less than. I could see how much he valued me, and that made all the difference.
I remember a conversation we had not long after we started dating. He told me, I’m not here to complete you, Zainab . I’m here to support you in everything you’re already becoming. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I wasn’t searching for someone to fill a void anymore I was already whole. He loved me because of who I was, not because of what I could do for him or how I made him feel.
QUE: That’s such a beautiful and healthy foundation for a relationship. How has your life been since you got married?
Zainab : It’s been nothing short of beautiful. Yes, there are challenges. Marriage isn’t perfect, but I can honestly say that I’m in a relationship where I feel deeply loved and respected. It’s a partnership built on trust, communication, and faith. We’ve learned so much together, and I feel like I’ve finally found the kind of love I always deserved but didn’t know how to ask for.
QUE: Now, looking back, what advice would you give to young girls who are struggling with similar feelings of loneliness or inadequacy?
Zainab : First, I’d tell them: Your worth is not determined by the love of any man. Your value comes from God and from what you’re doing with your life. Focus on building your dreams, strengthening your character, and getting to know yourself in the best way possible. It’s okay to feel lonely sometimes, but don’t let that loneliness drive you to settle for someone who doesn’t see your true worth. The right person will come, but only when you’ve taken the time to fall in love with yourself first.
And to those who are waiting for love don’t let the clock make you anxious. Trust the timing of your life. Everyone’s journey is different. Your purpose is bigger than just finding a partner. Focus on your growth, and in the process, you’ll attract someone who compliments you, not completes you.
QUE: Those are powerful words, Zainab . Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us today. Is there anything else you’d like to add?
Zainab : Yes just this: Don’t rush love, don’t rush life. Heal, grow, and find peace in your own company. Love will find you when you least expect it, and when it does, it will feel nothing like the desperation or brokenness you once knew. It will feel like home.
CONCLUSION
Zainab ’s story is a testament to the power of healing, patience, and self love. It’s a reminder that love, real love, is never forced its nurtured, and it grows when we stop looking for it in all the wrong places. To all the girls out there struggling with loneliness, heartbreak, and feelings of inadequacy, take heart. Your story is still being written. Focus on becoming your best self, and trust that love will meet you where you are.
I Believe In You Girl
Disclaimer
The names, places, and events in this story are not real. They were created to keep everything private and confidential. Any similarity to real-life people or events is just a coincidence.
