{"id":5014,"date":"2025-02-07T14:05:19","date_gmt":"2025-02-07T14:05:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/?p=5014"},"modified":"2025-02-08T22:01:04","modified_gmt":"2025-02-08T22:01:04","slug":"her-story-after-he-left-i-didnt-know-what-to-do-with-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/de\/her-story-after-he-left-i-didnt-know-what-to-do-with-myself\/","title":{"rendered":"HER STORY: After he left, I didn\u2019t know what to do with myself."},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by: Oluwabiyi Esther Ayomide<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Girl\u2019s Stuff at Villpress is a weekly series where we talk about real life issues girls face, from relationships to self esteem and everything in between.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Titi was once the girl who felt like she had it all caring boyfriend, a bright future, and the love of a family who cherished her. But all of that changed in the blink of an eye. It\u2019s a heart wrenching story of love, betrayal, and a search for healing, and in sharing it, she hopes to show other young girls that they\u2019re not alone, no matter how deep the pain may seem.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A Conversation With Titi<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Titi, thank you for being here today to share your story. We know it\u2019s not easy. To begin, can you tell us a bit about yourself and where you\u2019re from?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Titi: <\/strong>I\u2019m from Ilorin, Nigeria, and life used to feel so simple before everything went wrong. My family was close knit, and I had dreams of finishing school and doing something big with my life. But I never expected love to hurt so much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love is often a beautiful thing, but sometimes it leads us down painful paths. How did you meet Henry?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Titi<\/strong>: I met Henry during my first year at the university. I wasn\u2019t really thinking about relationships at the time. I was focused on my books and staying out of trouble. But then Henry came into my life like a calm breeze. We met in the cafeteria. He was tall, with dark skin and a smile that could light up any room. He approached me and we started talking. We laughed about trivial things at first, but it felt different. He was a good listener, and I felt like I had known him forever. We exchanged numbers and began talking every day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What did the relationship look like when it first started?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Titi:<\/strong> At the beginning, everything felt so perfect. He made me feel important. We would go on walks together, hold hands, and talk about our futures. He\u2019d surprise me with small gifts and write me sweet notes. He\u2019d even bring me lunch when I was busy with schoolwork. I remember one day he said, \u201cYou make me want to be a better man.\u201d Those words made my heart skip a beat. I thought he was the one. We even started talking about marriage, though it felt so far away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s a beautiful start. What was the turning point, though? How did things change?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Titi<\/strong>: It wasn\u2019t sudden. But over time, I began to notice small shifts. He was always available at first, but then he started being less responsive. He wouldn\u2019t reply to my texts immediately, and when he did, the warmth wasn\u2019t there. He would tell me that school and life were stressing him out. But deep down, I could feel something was off. I ignored it at first because I didn\u2019t want to face it. We were so close, and I thought everything would go back to normal. But things never did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You mentioned Henry took your virginity. Can you tell us more about that?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Titi:<\/strong> It was after about six months of dating. At that point, I thought I knew everything about him, and I trusted him completely. He would often tell me how much he loved me, how he couldn\u2019t wait for us to start a life together. One evening, after a nice dinner, we were sitting on the couch in his room. He kissed me, and it felt so natural. It wasn\u2019t something I had planned for, but I was in love, and I wanted to be close to him. He asked me if I was ready, and I said yes though deep down, I wasn\u2019t sure. I guess I thought love meant giving him everything. I didn\u2019t want to disappoint him or seem like I was holding back. I didn\u2019t realize how big of a step it was until later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After that night, it felt like things changed. He became more distant, and I didn\u2019t understand why. I thought he would love me more after that, but it didn\u2019t feel that way. He stopped being as affectionate, and there were times when I would catch him staring at his phone or talking less with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That must have been so confusing. And then, things got worse, right?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Titi:<\/strong> Yes. I felt betrayed. I had given him something so precious to me, but he didn\u2019t value it the way I thought he would. My heart was in turmoil, but I didn\u2019t have the strength to face it yet. But then things took a darker turn. I found out he had been seeing someone else. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of me. I didn\u2019t know what to do. The pain was unbearable, and I didn\u2019t think I could survive it. I confronted him about it, and he confessed. He told me that he had fallen for someone else, someone who \u201cunderstood him better.\u201d That was the final blow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That must have felt like the end of everything for you. But it didn\u2019t end there, right? What happened after that?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Titi:<\/strong> After he left, I didn\u2019t know what to do with myself. I was angry, sad, confused all at once. I couldn\u2019t focus on anything. I couldn\u2019t even eat. I started thinking that maybe if I wasn\u2019t here, things would be better for everyone, including me. It felt like a dark cloud had descended on my life, and I couldn\u2019t see a way out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At my lowest point, I ended up getting pregnant by Henry. I didn\u2019t know how it had happened, but it did. I thought maybe it was a chance for him to come back, to fix what we had. But he wasn\u2019t there for me. He was gone. I didn\u2019t have anyone to turn to, and I felt so alone. That led to my first abortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can you explain what led to that decision? How did you feel during that time?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Titi:<\/strong> The decision was terrifying. I didn\u2019t feel ready to be a mother, but I was desperate. I thought that by terminating the pregnancy, I could stop the shame, the guilt, and the pain. I didn\u2019t want my life to be tied to him anymore, and I thought I was doing the right thing. But the pain didn\u2019t go away it only got worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After that, I found myself making the same choice over and over again. Each time, I thought I was closing a chapter of my life, but all I was doing was digging myself deeper into a hole of regret. By the time I had the fifth abortion, the doctors told me I couldn\u2019t have children anymore. I felt like I had lost everything. My womb, my hope, my future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s a lot for one person to carry. How did you move past all of this?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Titi: <\/strong>It wasn\u2019t easy. After everything, I started to realize that I couldn\u2019t let my past define me. I had to find strength within myself. I couldn\u2019t blame myself for everything that had happened, even though I often did. It took time, but I began to heal, slowly. I leaned on my family, especially my mom, who always believed in me. She reminded me that I was still worthy of love, even when I felt so broken. I started attending therapy and reconnecting with my faith, which gave me the courage to move on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ve shown so much strength through all of this. What advice would you give someone who might be in a similar situation?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Titi<\/strong>: I would tell them to remember their worth. No relationship, no heartbreak, is worth losing yourself over. I let a man take my heart and my sense of self, but now I know that I am enough. If you\u2019re in pain, it\u2019s okay to feel it, but don\u2019t let it swallow you. You deserve happiness, and you deserve peace. Lean on the people who care about you, and never forget that God sees you, even in your darkest moments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Titi\u2019s story is one of heartbreak, loss, and healing. It\u2019s a painful reminder that love isn\u2019t always kind, but it also shows us that we have the power to rebuild ourselves, no matter what life throws at us. We hope that Titi\u2019s story inspires someone out there to keep fighting for their own peace and strength, no matter how hard it may seem.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thank you again for allowing me to shape this story the way you wanted. I\u2019ve tried to blend the details with a deeper emotional layer while keeping it in line with the tone and lessons you wanted.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I BELIEVE IN YOU GIRL <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

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Written by: Oluwabiyi Esther Ayomide Girl\u2019s Stuff at Villpress is a weekly series where we talk about real life issues girls face, from relationships to self esteem and everything in between. Titi was once the girl who felt like she had it all caring boyfriend, a bright future, and the love of a family who […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":4930,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[176,177],"tags":[205,202,78,200,178],"ppma_author":[333],"class_list":{"0":"post-5014","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-woman","8":"category-girls-stuff","9":"tag-girls-stuff","10":"tag-ladies","11":"tag-leadership","12":"tag-relationship","13":"tag-women-leadership"},"authors":[{"term_id":333,"user_id":4,"is_guest":0,"slug":"esther90","display_name":"Oluwabiyi Esther Ayomide","avatar_url":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Esther-Ayomide-96x96.png","0":null,"1":"","2":"","3":"","4":"","5":"","6":"","7":"","8":""}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5014","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5014"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5014\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5016,"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5014\/revisions\/5016"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4930"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5014"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5014"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5014"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=5014"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}