{"id":4730,"date":"2025-01-14T09:02:54","date_gmt":"2025-01-14T09:02:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/?p=4730"},"modified":"2025-01-16T13:17:42","modified_gmt":"2025-01-16T13:17:42","slug":"he-broke-up-with-me-said-i-didnt-deserve-him-and-i-would-never-find-a-guy-like-him","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/de\/he-broke-up-with-me-said-i-didnt-deserve-him-and-i-would-never-find-a-guy-like-him\/","title":{"rendered":"He Broke Up With Me, Said I Didn’t Deserve Him and I Would Never Find A Guy Like Him"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by: Oluwabiyi Esther Ayomide<\/strong><\/p>\n

Girl\u2019s Stuff at Villpress is a weekly series where we talk about real-life issues girls face, from relationships to self-esteem and everything in between.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Interview with Zainab<\/h3>\n

I\u2019ve known Zainab for a few years now, and I\u2019ve watched her grow from a young girl battling insecurities to a confident woman who now radiates strength, grace, and love. At 27, Zainab is happily married, and I can\u2019t help but admire how beautifully her life has unfolded. But before she found the love and peace she has today, her journey was far from simple.<\/p>\n

I caught up with her last week for a chat, and her story was one I knew had to be shared with the world. It\u2019s one of heartbreak, self discovery, healing, and ultimately, the joy of knowing that love will find you when you stop seeking validation from anyone else.<\/p>\n

QUE: Zainab , thank you for sitting down with me today. I know so many girls will find your journey inspiring. Let\u2019s start with you telling us a little about yourself who you are now and what you do.<\/p>\n

Zainab : Thank you for having me. I’m Zainab , a 27 year old wife, daughter, and creative. I\u2019m married to the love of my life, and I work as a content creator and photographer. I\u2019m passionate about telling stories through pictures and words, and I also run a small blog where I talk about my experiences, faith, and personal growth. My family means the world to me, my parents, my siblings, and of course, my husband, who is my biggest support. We\u2019re building a life together that is peaceful, purposeful, and full of love. But looking back, I never imagined I\u2019d be here.<\/p>\n

QUE: That\u2019s amazing, Zainab . But we both know that this peaceful and purposeful life wasn\u2019t always your story. Can you take us back to your younger years? What was life like for you before you found the strength you have now?<\/p>\n

Zainab : Oh, wow. It feels like it was a lifetime ago, but I can still remember the sting so clearly. I was always the quiet one in school, more focused on my books and finding my place in the world than on the boys around me. When I was in secondary school, I had a boyfriend, someone I thought would be my forever. But he was anything but kind. He\u2019d call me ugly, tell me no other guy would ever love me the way he did, and constantly put me down. There were days he\u2019d even mock my appearance, saying I was too plain to ever matter to anyone. And because I was so desperate for love, I believed him.<\/p>\n

QUE: That sounds so painful. How did it affect you?<\/p>\n

Zainab : It lt tore me apart, to be honest. I wanted to believe I was worthy of love, but his words made me doubt everything about myself. I\u2019d look in the mirror and see his words etched on my face. My confidence was shattered. I stayed in that toxic relationship for way too long, thinking I couldn\u2019t do any better, that maybe this was all I deserved. Then, one day, he just\u2026 left. No warning, no explanation. He broke up with me and immediately started dating someone else from our class. I remember watching them together, and it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.<\/p>\n

QUE: That must have been devastating. What went through your mind at that moment?<\/p>\n

Zainab : It was a mixture of heartbreak and shame. I felt like I wasn\u2019t enough. Like I had poured my heart into someone who didn\u2019t care about me at all. And when I saw him move so quickly, I felt even worse about myself. The words he\u2019d spoken, the way he\u2019d made me feel like I was worthless\u2026 it all came flooding back. I didn\u2019t know how to pick up the pieces of my heart, and for a long time, I couldn\u2019t see the value in myself.<\/p>\n

QUE: How did you cope with all of that?<\/p>\n

Zainab : Honestly, I didn\u2019t really cope well at first. I spent a lot of time in my room, crying and wondering why I wasn\u2019t good enough. But somewhere deep inside, I knew that I couldn\u2019t keep living like this. So, I decided to take a break from relationships. I needed to rediscover who I was outside of someone else\u2019s words or expectations. I focused on my studies and my personal growth. When I got into university, I started to meet people who encouraged me to look at myself differently not through the lens of someone else\u2019s hurtful words, but through my own eyes.<\/p>\n

QUE: That sounds like a huge turning point. How did you start to rediscover yourself?<\/p>\n

Zainab : It wasn\u2019t easy, but I slowly started to heal. I threw myself into my passions: photography, writing, and discovering more about God. I realized that I didn\u2019t need anyone\u2019s approval to feel worthy. I was learning to appreciate myself for who I was, and I began to see beauty in my uniqueness. I surrounded myself with people who loved and supported me, and gradually, I rebuilt my confidence.<\/p>\n

But there were still moments when I\u2019d see my friends getting into relationships, or I\u2019d hear about a classmate getting married, and I\u2019d feel that old ache in my chest. The doubts would resurface: Is there something wrong with me? Why am I still single? I even remembered the harsh things that my ex boyfriend had said. I<\/p>\n

\n

wasn\u2019t healed completely, but I kept pressing forward. I learned to focus on what was an important relationship with God, my personal growth, and becoming the best version of myself.<\/p>\n

QUE: That\u2019s so inspiring, Zainab . So, when did you finally meet the man you would marry? Was there a moment that made you realize he was the one?<\/p>\n

Zainab : Yes, absolutely. It wasn\u2019t love at first sight, but when I met my husband, there was an instant connection. He was different from anyone I\u2019d ever known. He wasn\u2019t trying to impress me or win my affection; he just genuinely liked me for who I was. He encouraged my dreams, respected my independence, and never made me feel less than. I could see how much he valued me, and that made all the difference.<\/p>\n

I remember a conversation we had not long after we started dating. He told me, I\u2019m not here to complete you, Zainab . I\u2019m here to support you in everything you\u2019re already becoming. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I wasn\u2019t searching for someone to fill a void anymore I was already whole. He loved me because of who I was, not because of what I could do for him or how I made him feel.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

QUE: That\u2019s such a beautiful and healthy foundation for a relationship. How has your life been since you got married?<\/p>\n

Zainab : It\u2019s been nothing short of beautiful. Yes, there are challenges. Marriage isn’t perfect, but I can honestly say that I\u2019m in a relationship where I feel deeply loved and respected. It\u2019s a partnership built on trust, communication, and faith. We\u2019ve learned so much together, and I feel like I\u2019ve finally found the kind of love I always deserved but didn\u2019t know how to ask for.<\/p>\n

QUE: Now, looking back, what advice would you give to young girls who are struggling with similar feelings of loneliness or inadequacy?<\/p>\n

Zainab : First, I\u2019d tell them: Your worth is not determined by the love of any man. Your value comes from God and from what you\u2019re doing with your life. <\/span>Focus on building your dreams, strengthening your character, and getting to know yourself in the best way possible. It\u2019s okay to feel lonely sometimes, but don\u2019t let that loneliness drive you to settle for someone who doesn\u2019t see your true worth. The right person will come, but only when you\u2019ve taken the time to fall in love with yourself first.<\/p>\n

And to those who are waiting for love don’t let the clock make you anxious. Trust the timing of your life. Everyone\u2019s journey is different. Your purpose is bigger than just finding a partner. Focus on your growth, and in the process, you\u2019ll attract someone who compliments you, not completes you<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n

QUE: Those are powerful words, Zainab . Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us today. Is there anything else you\u2019d like to add?<\/p>\n

Zainab : Yes just this: Don\u2019t rush love, don\u2019t rush life. Heal, grow, and find peace in your own company. Love will find you when you least expect it, and when it does, it will feel nothing like the desperation or brokenness you once knew. It will feel like home.<\/p>\n

Zainab\u2019s story is a testament to the power of healing, patience, and self-love. It\u2019s a reminder that love, real love, is never forced; its nurtured, and it grows when we stop looking for it in all the wrong places. To all the girls out there struggling with loneliness, heartbreak, and feelings of inadequacy, take heart. Your story is still being written. Focus on becoming your best self, and trust that love will meet you where you are.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

I Believe In You Girl<\/strong><\/p>\n

Disclaimer<\/strong><\/em>\r\n\r\nThe names, places, and events in this story are not real. They were created to keep everything private and confidential. Any similarity to real-life people or events is just a coincidence.<\/strong><\/em><\/pre>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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