{"id":4676,"date":"2025-01-09T20:03:13","date_gmt":"2025-01-09T20:03:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/?p=4676"},"modified":"2025-01-13T18:50:08","modified_gmt":"2025-01-13T18:50:08","slug":"a-healed-hearthe-said-no-guy-would-ever-love-me-like-he-did","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/cs\/a-healed-hearthe-said-no-guy-would-ever-love-me-like-he-did\/","title":{"rendered":"A HEALED HEART;HE SAID NO GUY WOULD EVER LOVE ME LIKE HE DID"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by: Oluwabiyi Esther Ayomide<\/strong><\/p>\n

Girl\u2019s Stuff at Villpress is a weekly series where we talk about real-life issues girls face, from relationships to self-esteem and everything in between.<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

I had the honor of sitting down with Sarah Nkomo, a 27 year old entrepreneur, mentor, and wife living in Cape Town, South Africa. Sarah\u2019s story is one of heartbreak, redemption, and a deep discovery of her worth. It\u2019s a story that reminds us that no matter how broken life feels, the pieces can come together to create something even more beautiful.<\/p>\n

As the old saying goes, \u201cThe fire that burns the log also hardens the clay.\u201d The trials we face can either destroy us or strengthen us all depends on how we respond.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

INTERVIEW WITH SARAH NKOMO<\/h1>\n

QUE: Sarah, thank you for joining us. Could you start by telling us a bit about yourself?<\/p>\n

Sarah: Thank you for having me. My name is Sarah Nkomo, and I\u2019m a business owner, mentor, and most importantly, a wife and mother. I run The Treasure Within Foundation, which focuses on mentoring young girls. I\u2019m also the founder of Gold Grace, a jewelry brand inspired by my journey of finding worth. I\u2019m married to my amazing husband, Michael, and we have a two year old daughter, Amara.<\/p>\n

QUE: Let\u2019s go back to the beginning. What was your teenage life like?<\/p>\n

Sarah: Growing up in Khayelitsha, Cape Town, I was a typical girl dreamy, full of hope, but also insecure. I didn\u2019t think much of myself. My parents were hardworking but strict, and they always reminded me of the importance of education. Still, as a teenager, all I wanted was to feel seen and loved.<\/p>\n

It was in 2007, during my final year of high school, that I met Themba. I was 15, and Themba was this tall, charismatic boy in my class. Everyone liked him. He had this way of making you feel special, and when he chose me, I thought I had hit the jackpot.<\/p>\n

QUE: What was your relationship with Themba like?<\/p>\n

Sarah: At first, it felt magical. Themba would wait for me after class, walk me home, and call me at night. I remember the first time he said, \u201cYou\u2019re the prettiest girl in Khayelitsha.\u201d I blushed so hard I could barely respond. For a girl who doubted her own reflection, those words felt like gold.<\/p>\n

But over time, the cracks began to show. He became controlling.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll never forget one Saturday July 25th, 2007, to be exact. It was around 11 p.m., and we were on the phone. He had seen me laughing with a boy in class earlier that day.<\/p>\n

\u201cThemba, he\u2019s just my group partner for biology,\u201d I explained, trying to calm him down.<\/p>\n

\u201cSarah, I don\u2019t like it. Do you want me to stop talking to girls too?\u201d he snapped.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut what? Just stop embarrassing me.\u201d<\/p>\n

I stayed silent, feeling like I had done something wrong even though I hadn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

QUE: Did things get worse from there?<\/p>\n

Sarah: Yes. He started making comments about how I dressed, how I talked, even how I laughed. \u201cWhy do you laugh so loud? It\u2019s embarrassing,\u201d he\u2019d say. Or, \u201cYou\u2019re lucky I even like you because you\u2019re not that pretty.\u201d<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t realize it at the time, but he was chipping away at my selfesteem. I clung to him because I thought he was the best I could ever have.<\/p>\n

Then came the real heartbreak.<\/p>\n

QUE: What happened?<\/p>\n

Sarah: One afternoon in September, during break time, I walked into the classroom and found Themba sitting on another girl\u2019s desk. Her name was Lerato, one of the prettiest girls in school. He was laughing, touching her hair things he hadn\u2019t done with me in weeks.<\/p>\n

Later that day, he called me aside and said, \u201cSarah, I think we should break up. Lerato makes me happy, and I can\u2019t pretend anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

I stared at him, speechless. \u201cYou\u2019re joking, right?\u201d I asked, my voice trembling.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m serious,\u201d he replied coldly. \u201cLet\u2019s just end this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Before I could process it, he was gone, and by the next day, everyone at school knew about Themba and Lerato. I felt humiliated.<\/p>\n

QUE: How did you cope with that?<\/p>\n

Sarah: Honestly, I didn\u2019t cope well. I skipped school for almost a week. My mom, who noticed something was wrong, tried to talk to me, but I didn\u2019t have the words to explain how broken I felt.<\/p>\n

One night, as I lay in bed crying, I remembered something Themba had said to me: \u201cNo guy will ever love you like I did.\u201d Those words haunted me. I believed them.<\/p>\n

In university, I carried that baggage with me. I became a people pleaser, always seeking validation from guys. If someone showed interest, I\u2019d do everything to keep them, even if it meant losing pieces of myself.<\/p>\n

QUE: Was there a turning point for you?<\/p>\n

Sarah: There was, but it took time. In my second year at the University of Cape Town, I hit rock bottom. I had just ended another situation ship with a guy who ghosted me after I refused to sleep with him.<\/p>\n

I remember sitting on the steps of my dorm building, crying and asking, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with me?\u201d That\u2019s when one of my roommates, Thandi, found me.<\/p>\n

Thandi was part of a campus fellowship, and she invited me to one of their meetings. I was hesitant at first, but I went.<\/p>\n

During that meeting, the speaker talked about self worth and Purity it in a judgmental way, but as a way to honor yourself. One thing he said stuck with me: \u201cYou are more valuable than rubies. Anyone who cannot see your worth doesn\u2019t deserve access to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

That was the beginning of my healing journey.<\/p>\n

QUE: How did you change after that?<\/p>\n

Sarah: I started focusing on myself. I joined the fellowship, spent time in prayer, and began journaling my thoughts. I also set boundaries emotional, physical, and spiritual. It wasn\u2019t easy, especially when I saw friends getting into relationships and even getting married.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I\u2019d remember Themba\u2019s words and wonder if he was right. But then I\u2019d remind myself of Proverbs 31:25: \u201cShe is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.\u201d<\/p>\n

QUE: How did you meet your husband?<\/p>\n

Sarah: (Smiling) Michael and I met at a youth conference in Johannesburg. I was a guest speaker, sharing my story. After my session, he came up to me and said, \u201cYou spoke like someone who\u2019s lived through fire and come out shining.\u201d<\/p>\n

We exchanged numbers, and over time, he became a close friend. What stood out about Michael was his patience and respect. He never rushed me, never pressured me.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d say this: Your worth doesn\u2019t come from who loves you or doesn\u2019t love you. Early exposure to relationships can sometimes confuse you about what love really is.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Take your time. Build yourself. Love yourself. And remember, as the Zulu proverb says, \u201cInhlaka ifa ngamasebe ayo\u201da tree dies by its branches. Be careful who you allow into your life because they have the power to shape you.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

QUE: Any final thoughts?<\/p>\n

Sarah: True love is worth waiting for. When it\u2019s right, it will feel like home not a battlefield. Until then, focus on becoming the best version of yourself. Your value is immeasurable. Never forget that.<\/p>\n

QUE: Any final thoughts?<\/p>\n

Sarah: (Pauses, then smiles thoughtfully) Yes, there\u2019s one more thing I\u2019d like to share, and it\u2019s about sexual purity. You see, as I healed and began discovering who I was, I realized something profound: our bodies are sacred. They\u2019re not just ours to give away to anyone who seems interested.<\/p>\n

For a long time, I didn\u2019t understand that. I thought intimacy was a way to prove love or keep someone close. But the truth is, real love doesn\u2019t demand proof; it offers safety and honor.<\/p>\n

Sexual purity isn\u2019t just about abstaining from somethingit\u2019s about protecting something. It\u2019s about recognizing your worth and deciding that no one gets access to you unless they\u2019re committed to honoring your soul, your body, and your future.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the world we live in, it\u2019s easy to feel pressured. Movies, music, friends they all make it seem like everyone is doing it, like it\u2019s no big deal. But let me tell you, guarding your purity is one of the most powerful acts of selflove. It\u2019s saying, \u201cI know my value, and I won\u2019t let anyone treat me like I\u2019m less than priceless.\u201d<\/p>\n

Michael, my husband, respected my decision to remain pure until marriage. It wasn\u2019t just my decision it was ours. And let me tell you, starting our marriage without the weight of guilt or past entanglements was one of the greatest gifts we gave each other.<\/p>\n

To any young girl reading this, I\u2019ll say this: \u201cDo not throw your pearls to pigs\u201dthat\u2019s what the Bible says in Matthew 7:6. Your purity is a pearl, something precious. Save it for someone who will cherish it, not trample on it.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Sexual purity isn\u2019t about being perfect; it\u2019s about walking in the knowledge that you are already complete in God. And when the right person comes along, they will honor that completeness. So, don\u2019t let the world rush you.<\/p>\n

I BELIEVE IN YOU GIRL\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Disclaimer<\/p>\n

The names, places, and events in this story are not real. They were created to keep everything private and confidential. Any similarity to real-life people or events is just a coincidence.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written by: Oluwabiyi Esther Ayomide Girl\u2019s Stuff at Villpress is a weekly series where we talk about real-life issues girls face, from relationships to self-esteem and everything in between. I had the honor of sitting down with Sarah Nkomo, a 27 year old entrepreneur, mentor, and wife living in Cape Town, South Africa. Sarah\u2019s story […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":4678,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[177,176],"tags":[201,202,200,203,204],"ppma_author":[333],"class_list":{"0":"post-4676","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-girls-stuff","8":"category-woman","9":"tag-girls","10":"tag-ladies","11":"tag-relationship","12":"tag-self-worth","13":"tag-sexual-purity"},"authors":[{"term_id":333,"user_id":4,"is_guest":0,"slug":"esther90","display_name":"Oluwabiyi Esther Ayomide","avatar_url":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Esther-Ayomide-96x96.png","0":null,"1":"","2":"","3":"","4":"","5":"","6":"","7":"","8":""}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4676","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4676"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4676\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4711,"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4676\/revisions\/4711"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4678"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4676"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4676"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4676"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/villpress.com\/cs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=4676"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}