Written by: Oluwabiyi Esther Ayomide
Girl’s Stuff at Villpress is a weekly series where we dive into real life stories that resonate with every girl, from matters of the heart to self love, and everything in between.
Have you ever been in a relationship where you gave it your all, only to have it fall apart in a way you never saw coming? Adeola’s journey of love, heartbreak, and healing is a tale many can relate to. She shares her story of how she navigated a painful breakup, her struggle to let go, and how she eventually learned to heal and grow stronger from the experience. If you’ve ever been in love and lost it, her story may hit home.
DIALOGUE WITH Adeola
Adeola, thank you for sharing your story with us today. To start, could you tell us a bit about your life before you met him?
Adeola: Thank you for having me. Before I met him, I was someone who believed in love pure and simple. I’ve always been someone focused on my goals and dreams. I was busy with school and trying to figure out my purpose in life. At the time, I wasn’t really thinking about relationships. I had my eyes set on what I wanted to achieve, and I wasn’t expecting anyone to come in and change that. But when he entered my life, everything seemed to shift.
It sounds like you had a solid focus before everything changed. So, what made you feel like something was missing in your life?
Adeola: Yes, I was content with my life, but deep down, there was a longing for someone who could see me beyond my ambitions. Someone who would understand me completely and love me as I am. I wasn’t searching for a relationship at the time, but I started to wonder if I was ready for that next step. I wanted someone to walk through life with, someone who would support me as I chased my dreams. That’s when I met him.
So, how did you two meet? What was your first impression of him?
Adeola: We met at a gathering, and honestly, I wasn’t in the mood for socializing. But when I saw him, something about him caught my attention. He wasn’t like everyone else, trying to impress people. He was just… there. He had a calm energy, and he seemed real. When we started talking, I felt like we had known each other for years. The conversation flowed easily, and we connected in a way that was new for me.
That sounds like a great first impression. What did you two talk about during that first conversation?
Adeola: It started off casually just some small talk about the gathering and the people there. But then we started diving into deeper topics. We talked about our dreams, our goals, and the things that made us tick. He spoke about his ambitions, and I shared mine. There was something refreshing about him. I felt like we could build something special together.
It sounds like you two are really connected. What were some moments that made you feel like this could be something real?
Adeola: There were so many moments, but one stands out. We took a quiet day trip together. No grand plan just a simple drive and a chance to escape. We went to a peaceful spot and spent hours just talking. The simplicity of that day, the connection we felt, made me believe that maybe we were building something real. He wasn’t trying to impress me with gestures. It was the consistency in his words and actions that made me feel secure.
That sounds like a beautiful moment. As your relationship grew, how did he show you he cared?
Adeola: It wasn’t a grand gesture. It was the little things. He made sure I felt seen, heard, and valued. He’d send me thoughtful messages or show up when I needed him. One time, I was having a hard day, and he brought me my favorite snack and a comforting drink. It wasn’t about what he did, but the fact that he was there, showing up in ways that made me feel cherished.
That’s really sweet. Did you two ever talk about the future?
Adeola: Oh yes. We talked about our dreams for the future, how we envisioned our lives together. We both shared similar goals building our careers, traveling, and experiencing life together. We talked about having a life where we could support each other, grow together, and make our dreams a reality. I honestly thought we were on the same page, that we were building something that would last.
So, what happened? When did things start to change?
Adeola: It didn’t happen all at once. It was subtle at first. He started becoming a little distant, canceling plans here and there. I tried to brush it off at first, thinking he was just busy. But then, it kept happening. I began to feel like I was always the one reaching out. It felt like we were growing apart, and I couldn’t figure out why. Eventually, I found out he had been seeing someone else, and that was the plow that broke me.
That must have been incredibly painful. How did you handle it?
Adeola: It was devastating. I kept asking myself how I had missed the signs, how I had trusted him so completely, only to find out that he was with someone else. It didn’t make sense. I felt heartbroken, betrayed, and confused. At first, I couldn’t even process what had happened. It felt like I was in a dream that I couldn’t wake up from. I couldn’t accept that it was over.
How did you start healing from all of that pain?
Adeola: It wasn’t easy. At first, I didn’t want to let go. I kept thinking that maybe he’d change, maybe he’d come back. But I had to learn to accept the reality that he wasn’t coming back. I started to focus on myself. I began to spend more time with my family, rediscovering things I loved, like writing and spending time alone to reflect. Slowly, I started healing. I had to remind myself that I was worthy of love, and that I deserved more than someone who couldn’t commit to me.
That takes a lot of strength. What would you say to someone who’s going through a similar situation?
Adeola: I would tell them to never lose sight of who they are. It’s okay to grieve, to feel the pain, but don’t let it consume you. If someone can’t value you, it’s better to let go and make space for something better. Focus on healing, and take care of yourself. And always remember, you are enough, just as you are.
Looking back now, do you feel like you’ve learned something valuable from this experience?
Adeola: Yes, absolutely. I’ve learned that true love shouldn’t make you lose yourself. I’ve learned to trust my instincts more, and not to ignore the signs when something isn’t right. But the most important lesson has been learning to love myself first. When I started to truly value myself, I found strength I never knew I had. Now, I know that when the right person comes along, they will love me for who I am, not because I’ve changed or dimmed my light for them.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Adeola. Your strength and resilience are inspiring. We’re glad to have you here today.
This story highlights a difficult chapter in Adeola’s lifeone that many can relate to. Sometimes, love comes with heartbreak, but it’s through those painful experiences that we learn, grow, and heal. If you’re facing a similar situation, remember that you are worthy of a love that sees and respects you for who you are. Healing takes time, but it is possible.
