Written by: Oluwabiyi Esther Ayomide
Girl’s Stuff at Villpress is a weekly series where we talk about real-life issues girls face, from relationships to self-esteem and everything in between.
I had the honor of sitting down with Sarah Nkomo, a 27 year old entrepreneur, mentor, and wife living in Cape Town, South Africa. Sarah’s story is one of heartbreak, redemption, and a deep discovery of her worth. It’s a story that reminds us that no matter how broken life feels, the pieces can come together to create something even more beautiful.
As the old saying goes, “The fire that burns the log also hardens the clay.” The trials we face can either destroy us or strengthen us all depends on how we respond.
INTERVIEW WITH SARAH NKOMO
QUE: Sarah, thank you for joining us. Could you start by telling us a bit about yourself?
Sarah: Thank you for having me. My name is Sarah Nkomo, and I’m a business owner, mentor, and most importantly, a wife and mother. I run The Treasure Within Foundation, which focuses on mentoring young girls. I’m also the founder of Gold Grace, a jewelry brand inspired by my journey of finding worth. I’m married to my amazing husband, Michael, and we have a two year old daughter, Amara.
QUE: Let’s go back to the beginning. What was your teenage life like?
Sarah: Growing up in Khayelitsha, Cape Town, I was a typical girl dreamy, full of hope, but also insecure. I didn’t think much of myself. My parents were hardworking but strict, and they always reminded me of the importance of education. Still, as a teenager, all I wanted was to feel seen and loved.
It was in 2007, during my final year of high school, that I met Themba. I was 15, and Themba was this tall, charismatic boy in my class. Everyone liked him. He had this way of making you feel special, and when he chose me, I thought I had hit the jackpot.
QUE: What was your relationship with Themba like?
Sarah: At first, it felt magical. Themba would wait for me after class, walk me home, and call me at night. I remember the first time he said, “You’re the prettiest girl in Khayelitsha.” I blushed so hard I could barely respond. For a girl who doubted her own reflection, those words felt like gold.
But over time, the cracks began to show. He became controlling.
I’ll never forget one Saturday July 25th, 2007, to be exact. It was around 11 p.m., and we were on the phone. He had seen me laughing with a boy in class earlier that day.
“Themba, he’s just my group partner for biology,” I explained, trying to calm him down.
“Sarah, I don’t like it. Do you want me to stop talking to girls too?” he snapped.
“No, but”
“But what? Just stop embarrassing me.”
I stayed silent, feeling like I had done something wrong even though I hadn’t.
QUE: Did things get worse from there?
Sarah: Yes. He started making comments about how I dressed, how I talked, even how I laughed. “Why do you laugh so loud? It’s embarrassing,” he’d say. Or, “You’re lucky I even like you because you’re not that pretty.”
I didn’t realize it at the time, but he was chipping away at my selfesteem. I clung to him because I thought he was the best I could ever have.
Then came the real heartbreak.
QUE: What happened?
Sarah: One afternoon in September, during break time, I walked into the classroom and found Themba sitting on another girl’s desk. Her name was Lerato, one of the prettiest girls in school. He was laughing, touching her hair things he hadn’t done with me in weeks.
Later that day, he called me aside and said, “Sarah, I think we should break up. Lerato makes me happy, and I can’t pretend anymore.”
I stared at him, speechless. “You’re joking, right?” I asked, my voice trembling.
“No, I’m serious,” he replied coldly. “Let’s just end this.”
Before I could process it, he was gone, and by the next day, everyone at school knew about Themba and Lerato. I felt humiliated.
QUE: How did you cope with that?
Sarah: Honestly, I didn’t cope well. I skipped school for almost a week. My mom, who noticed something was wrong, tried to talk to me, but I didn’t have the words to explain how broken I felt.
One night, as I lay in bed crying, I remembered something Themba had said to me: “No guy will ever love you like I did.” Those words haunted me. I believed them.
In university, I carried that baggage with me. I became a people pleaser, always seeking validation from guys. If someone showed interest, I’d do everything to keep them, even if it meant losing pieces of myself.
QUE: Was there a turning point for you?
Sarah: There was, but it took time. In my second year at the University of Cape Town, I hit rock bottom. I had just ended another situation ship with a guy who ghosted me after I refused to sleep with him.
I remember sitting on the steps of my dorm building, crying and asking, “What’s wrong with me?” That’s when one of my roommates, Thandi, found me.
Thandi was part of a campus fellowship, and she invited me to one of their meetings. I was hesitant at first, but I went.
During that meeting, the speaker talked about self worth and Purity it in a judgmental way, but as a way to honor yourself. One thing he said stuck with me: “You are more valuable than rubies. Anyone who cannot see your worth doesn’t deserve access to you.”
That was the beginning of my healing journey.
QUE: How did you change after that?
Sarah: I started focusing on myself. I joined the fellowship, spent time in prayer, and began journaling my thoughts. I also set boundaries emotional, physical, and spiritual. It wasn’t easy, especially when I saw friends getting into relationships and even getting married.
Sometimes I’d remember Themba’s words and wonder if he was right. But then I’d remind myself of Proverbs 31:25: “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.”
QUE: How did you meet your husband?
Sarah: (Smiling) Michael and I met at a youth conference in Johannesburg. I was a guest speaker, sharing my story. After my session, he came up to me and said, “You spoke like someone who’s lived through fire and come out shining.”
We exchanged numbers, and over time, he became a close friend. What stood out about Michael was his patience and respect. He never rushed me, never pressured me.
I’d say this: Your worth doesn’t come from who loves you or doesn’t love you. Early exposure to relationships can sometimes confuse you about what love really is.
Take your time. Build yourself. Love yourself. And remember, as the Zulu proverb says, “Inhlaka ifa ngamasebe ayo”a tree dies by its branches. Be careful who you allow into your life because they have the power to shape you.
QUE: Any final thoughts?
Sarah: True love is worth waiting for. When it’s right, it will feel like home not a battlefield. Until then, focus on becoming the best version of yourself. Your value is immeasurable. Never forget that.
QUE: Any final thoughts?
Sarah: (Pauses, then smiles thoughtfully) Yes, there’s one more thing I’d like to share, and it’s about sexual purity. You see, as I healed and began discovering who I was, I realized something profound: our bodies are sacred. They’re not just ours to give away to anyone who seems interested.
For a long time, I didn’t understand that. I thought intimacy was a way to prove love or keep someone close. But the truth is, real love doesn’t demand proof; it offers safety and honor.
Sexual purity isn’t just about abstaining from somethingit’s about protecting something. It’s about recognizing your worth and deciding that no one gets access to you unless they’re committed to honoring your soul, your body, and your future.
In the world we live in, it’s easy to feel pressured. Movies, music, friends they all make it seem like everyone is doing it, like it’s no big deal. But let me tell you, guarding your purity is one of the most powerful acts of selflove. It’s saying, “I know my value, and I won’t let anyone treat me like I’m less than priceless.”
Michael, my husband, respected my decision to remain pure until marriage. It wasn’t just my decision it was ours. And let me tell you, starting our marriage without the weight of guilt or past entanglements was one of the greatest gifts we gave each other.
To any young girl reading this, I’ll say this: “Do not throw your pearls to pigs”that’s what the Bible says in Matthew 7:6. Your purity is a pearl, something precious. Save it for someone who will cherish it, not trample on it.
Sexual purity isn’t about being perfect; it’s about walking in the knowledge that you are already complete in God. And when the right person comes along, they will honor that completeness. So, don’t let the world rush you.
I BELIEVE IN YOU GIRL
Disclaimer
The names, places, and events in this story are not real. They were created to keep everything private and confidential. Any similarity to real-life people or events is just a coincidence.
